I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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