You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
