Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
