Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i was born a porn star she said
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
