STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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