Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice