Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Okay so I just had a really great idea