the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
