I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i now understand why vodka
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
