He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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