look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
