It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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