I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
