the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
