did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
