Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
