Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize