question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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