last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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