I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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