I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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