i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
