Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
