Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
