You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
