So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
