"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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