he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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