we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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