Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
