i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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