I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
