What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I touched a dick in church today
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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