Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
As shirtless as possible
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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