Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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