the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
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woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
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No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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