she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
