he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
