I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
