I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
