Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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