Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
