Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
