I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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