could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
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I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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