you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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