Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
