i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize