Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Randomize
