This is not my ceiling
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
