You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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