porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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