im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's rum buckets o'clock
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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