i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
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he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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