Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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