you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize