The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
