Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE