Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay

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(703): I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay http://tfl.nu/jcra

Replies (18) Good night (614) Bad night (6066)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune

(1-318): View more from Louisiana

what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??

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(318): dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune (1-318): what drug did you take to come to that conclusion?? http://tfl.nu/bym5

Replies (80) Good night (4286) Bad night (713)
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(417): View more from Missouri

I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride

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(417): I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride http://tfl.nu/qcn3

Replies (6) Good night (576) Bad night (2615)
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(541): View more from Oregon

If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?

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(541): If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs? http://tfl.nu/k19f

Replies (20) Good night (6047) Bad night (812)
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(410): View more from Maryland

In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"

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(410): In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!" http://tfl.nu/p213

Replies (23) Good night (1445) Bad night (7738)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(

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(732): the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :( http://tfl.nu/7drn

Replies (19) Good night (1195) Bad night (6627)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.

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(859): let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break. http://tfl.nu/x35d

Replies (23) Good night (5095) Bad night (892)
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(707): View more from California

Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.

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(707): Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me. http://tfl.nu/6om9

Replies (14) Good night (3723) Bad night (1074)
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(408): View more from California

I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom

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(408): I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom http://tfl.nu/1a6p

Replies (7) Good night (904) Bad night (2894)
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(716): View more from New York

your facebook page is a work of drunk art.

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(716): your facebook page is a work of drunk art. http://tfl.nu/2ehc

Replies (3) Good night (3661) Bad night (823)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised

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(336): Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised http://tfl.nu/n641

Replies (10) Good night (2092) Bad night (684)
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(+45): View more from Denmark

The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.

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(+45): The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm. http://tfl.nu/ztnf

Replies (2) Good night (2747) Bad night (781)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.

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(678): Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min. http://tfl.nu/nnq2

Replies (18) Good night (616) Bad night (1820)
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(951): View more from California

Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.

(1-951): View more from California

Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.

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(951): Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck. (1-951): Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician. http://tfl.nu/esvj

Replies (10) Good night (1399) Bad night (478)
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(210): View more from Texas

my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...

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(210): my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me... http://tfl.nu/0ufz

Replies (5) Good night (1089) Bad night (401)

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