I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
