i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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